


Life: The Biggest Troll

by KissTheMist



Category: A Song of Ice and Fire - George R. R. Martin, Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Badass Arya, Brienne and Cersei are sisters, Happy Cersei, Jon Stark - Freeform, Married Cersei Lannister/Ned Stark, Multi, Tywin is dead, arya and myrcella are twins, jaime and cersei not related at all, joanna is alive, lysa and joffrey are normal loving people, many of these people are not related!, other tags will be added
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-10-04
Packaged: 2018-12-15 10:35:07
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,695
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11804277
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KissTheMist/pseuds/KissTheMist
Summary: When Jon Arryn passes, The Starks, Lannisters, Tullys, and Baratheons are placed into an uncomfortable experience that sees old friends come together to solve his mysterious death and mend relationships and regain the meaning of life,love and other things that life throws at the families.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Hi this is my 3rd or 4th story and I am fairly new at the whole fan fiction game, well... the writing part at least. I also promise to try and find inspiration to finish my other stories once this one is finished as its almost complete. Anyway feed back is my health bar so please be green and do not be afraid to criticize my work.
> 
>  
> 
> OKAY.... to the fanfiction we go.  
> So a few things to note:  
> . Brienne and Cersei are sisters(surname is Tarth)  
> .Some of the characters aren't the same as in canon for the sake of the story.
> 
> Ned and Cersei's Family  
> Jon(27)  
> Joffrey(25)  
> Myrcella(21)  
> Ayra(21)  
> Tommen(19)  
> Brandon (18)
> 
>  
> 
> Jaime and Catelyn's Family  
> Sansa(25)  
> Robb(24)  
> Leon(20)  
> Joanna(17)
> 
> Robert and Lysa's Family  
> Gendry(30)  
> Robert. Jr"Sweet Robin'(23)  
> Minisa(21)

Robert couldn't believe the devastating news he had just received. Jon Arryn was dead! Dead! As in no longer alive, no longer advising him over his business, over his life. He wondered if anyone had let Ned know. He wept in Lysa's lap for what felt like days and they spent the entire night crying and laughing about all the quirks that had made Jon, Jon. Now that he was gone Robert had to work on his relationship with Stannis as Jon would no longer play their middleman. He had to work in his family business harder than before.Jon had been like a father to him and Ned and all their families and friends. He was also like a grandfather to his children. Robert was more than sad, he was heartbroken and had to call his children back to King's Landing.

 

Robert was grateful for his loving family. Lysa his beautiful and kind wife. Gendry, his image. Robert Jr(Robin) his special child who was so much like Lysa in everything but looks.And his angel, Minisa, the one child that had her mother's hair and demure nature, while his other children where all so Baratheon-like. She could  do no wrong in his eyes. He remembers the first time he met Lysa. She had been with that creepy Petyr guy and Robert had wanted a challenge. He was very easy on the eyes, so there was no way any girl could resist his smile and jokes and overall free and breezy nature. Well... no one except Lysa. She was even less attainable than Cat. She had been the one girl who wanted to look pass his reputation and nonchalant nature. He thinks he fell in love with her because she didn't have to try to get attention, just like Cat, who use to be such a massive bitch. He had even stopped whoring around so that the claims of him being a changed man where true. However, the straw that broke the horse was the fact that Petyr was a colossal asshole who broke up with Lysa in favor of Cat. She needed a shoulder to cry on and his was the strongest in the realm. Lysa always smiles when they tell people their story, because Robert was such a sap. And now that he thinks about it, it was thanks to Jon and Ned that his life was so organised. He had begged Lysa for a date after Ned and Jon had poked fun at his changed routine. He knew that she made him a better man and father. Lysa agreed and the rest was history. 

 

Jon was still gone now but at least he had his family. He needed to let the others know of the tragedy that has fallen over their lives. 

 

Gendry had arrived early in the morning to a calm and house drowned in a sombre atmosphere. He had left with urgency because he didn't know what was going on. He didn't understand why his parents had called him back. They usually loved the fact that their children where out of the house, living their own lives. So it came as a huge shock to him that they needed him home after so long. He left Dragon Stone in such a hurry , that he didnt get to ask questions. And now he was worried. Mornings in this household were filled with crude jokes form both his dad and Robin , with his mother preparing a breakfast fit for kings and Minisa, his sister, singing their ears off but today he finds his mother and Mini weeping hard and Robin meets his puzzled look with glossy red eyes. He engulfs his mother and sister in his large arms.

"What's going on?'' he mouths to his younger brother while grabbing tissue out of his pocket for the ladies to blow their noses. He fears the worst. _Is uncle Renly okay? Is Mini okay? Is aunt Cat okay? Is everyone in  their circle okay?_ He panics and searches for answers. He is finally answered.

"Jon Arryn is..." he falters, "He's dead. Gen, he is gone" Robin finally finds his voice after hours. Gendry couldn't believe his ears. How could Jon be dead? Jon Arryn didn't die Because an old heart gave up. Jon never gave up! Never! And now he's gone. Jon was strong, he had seemed healthy as a horse . They had Skyped just a week ago and he was hounding him on getting a wife and a family. This all happened not less than a week ago while he was at Dragon Stone with Uncle Stannis. Now he was gone. No more sage advice. No heartfelt and loud laughter. Gendry lost hope and crashed. He let a frustrated groan out and started crying in front of everyone , and yes... he was a man grown but Jon was the next best thing to a grandfather that he had.

 

After a long hot bath and a home cooked meal, Gendry sat with Mini and Robin. They had a little Wake in honor of him. They spent their night drinking and recalling their own experiences  with the elder. They even spoke about each others lives as they were spread all around the country. Gendry had been at Dragonstone working with uncle Stannis at his law firm, Robin had been in Tarth with uncle Renly for the annual fashion show and Mini had been at Dorne vacationing with her new girlfriend, Tyene.  Robin decided it was time for a confession or maybe it was the alcohol speaking.

 

He was happy to come home and relax after the amazing time he had in Tarth, however he was kind of distracted the entire time. He fell in love with a young and fairly new model. Tommen, he thinks his name is. And now that Jon was dead there was no way he would tell his parents. Robert would probably disown him and Lysa would die of a heart attack and if he remembers carefully when Minisa tried to tip toe out of the closet, they locked her in and threw away the key, but she was Bisexual, so hers wasn't so bad. **Why, oh ,Why was the Life the biggest troll?** Jon would've told him uncle Renly's solution was to pretend he isn't gay **.**

 

'' You have to promise to still be my siblings after this...'' he hesitates, " so while in Tarth I did something..." He pauses and sighs.  His older brother and younger sister look at him as clearly as the alcohol would let them, which was quiet easy to do because Mini and Gen could hold their liquor. '' So, I'm gay..." he awaits their responses. 

He gets nervous.

They finally get up and hug him tight. They laugh at him and he loosens up. _Did they know?_ " I've known since I was seventeen" he continues. Gendry and Mini smile.

 

"I've known for a really long time Rob, trust I can tell. Welcome to the community'' she says wholeheartedly albeit smugly.  After a long night of drinking they fell asleep on the patio, with the warm dark sky as their blanket.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Starks react to Jon's passing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I own Nothing. The Mistakes are mine.

Ned had been troubled by Robert's phone call. Jon was dead! Jon Arryn! Dead! The Wise Sage. He Was Dead. What Ned didn't understand was how?. Jon was healthy. They had spoken not less than a day ago about extending _Stark Media_ to Ulthos and they had laughed at Benjen's new T.V show:Beyond The Wall and the views it was surprisingly gathering. They had laughed about it until Jon had to turn to seriousness and talk to Ned about Robert... but now Jon was dead and he was super dejected. 

 

He hadn't spoken to Robert in three years. They had had a falling out about an article Ned had written about the possible corruption going on in _Baratheon Industries_ and that they were outsourcing to the _Golden Company._ Robert had let the fury claim him and hadn't liked what Ned had written for most of the world to see, therefore their friendship had ended. It had faded into nothing but now... now things would be different because Jon was dead. All the Great Families would have to band together. Ned was not in the mood to spend time with people he no longer considered family or friend. 

 

Cersei found Ned sitting in his CEO chair in his office,sulking, with his hands on his head furiously rubbing up and down. He looked sadder than he usually did.

"What's wrong...Love?" She asked her voice filled with concern."Please don't sulk and talk to me" She continued as Ned sighed.Ned looked up and sighed again. He got up from his chair and hugged his wife. Now Cersei was concerned. 

"Jon Arryn...He...He's... Dead. I just a phone call from Robert." Ned finally finished into her hair. " He's gone Cer. Dead." Ned carried on. Cersei needed to process the news and stood in Ned's embrace,shook. She was equal parts grief-stricken and intrigued. Jon Arryn was dead which meant a lot was about to change. She wasn't sure if it was for better or worse. Jon was healthy when they had spoken and laughed with him less than a day ago. He was laughing, blaring, like he usually did about Benjen's show and had listened to Ned moan and complain about letting Lyanna shoot a piece on the Martel-Targ rumors of incest and other freaky stuff he wasn't ready to publish. They had all been surprised that she'd wanted to do an mini-documentary on them. But now He Was DEAD! However, she was curious because Robert and Ned hadn't spoken to each other since the article had been released and now they had briefly spoken on the phone. She was glad because she knew how close Robert and Ned were. She was glad, albeit it was because of heartbreaking circumstances but they had spoken and that was a step to something. Right?

Cersei had rubbed Ned's temples and he hugged her tighter. They called the staff and dismissed them for the rest of the day. Cersei called the children and waited.

 

 

Brandon Stark had arrived first as he was the last to ever leave the house. He had been extremely worried when the most calm of people a.k.a his parents were really freaking out. He had been chilling at Jojen's house getting high when they had called. Now he was standing, baked as fuck and high out of his mind, in the living room waiting for his siblings to arrive and for his parents to spill the beans.

 

Joffrey arrived second to a sombre house and a baked Bran. He wondered what was going on but decided to make fun of a intoxicated and disorientated Brandon.

 

Jon came home happier than usual. He looked randy as fuck. He had to leave work earlier than usual and didn't have time to properly say goodbye to Sam. However, they had time for a quick but steamy make out session. When he arrived home he found a giggling Bran and an even more amused Joff who was too busy making fun of Bran to notice his entrance. He couldn't believe Bran wasn't in his right mind.

 

"Hey...guys. Bran, why are you high?" He asked using his Eldest Brother tone.

Bran giggled harder and Joff joined. Jon couldn't believe the disrespect.

" I found him like this dude, I kinda wish I was him. Dad sounded really depressed, which means its a really serious thing." He said after Jon's voice represented itself on his face. They all shared a calm look sighed. Truly, they all knew Joff was right. What could make the stoic and forever calm Ned Stark so frantic? Also, why would Cersei Stark(nee Tarth) be in such a weird mood.

 

Tom arrived home to find his brothers on the couch and mom and dad no where to be found. Where were they? Where they still at the office?  Were they okay? He had been worried after Myrcella and Arya had told him to get home. He didn't speak to his sisters that much but if they wanted to go home then shit was going down. He received their call after chilling with Robin and having a lot of _sexy time_. He was dazed and confused and even more so now that Arya and Myrcella had called him. He sat down next to a weed-smelling Bran and a goofy looking Joff.

"Psst....psst...psst...Jon!"He whispered harshly trying to gain his sleepy-looking brother's attention."What's going on?" He continued.

 

" I don't know Tom,mom and dad called us here but they didn't tell us what was going on" He answered making a move to wake Joff and Bran. The two boys woke up and dragged themselves to their rooms. Only Tom and Bran still lived with their parents so to Jon felt weird, he hadn't been in his room since he was 19. The boys all left the living room to sleep.

 

Arya had dreaded going home and now Myrcella wanted to go she felt really unhappy. Why did they have to go back? Pentos was gorgeous enough and so was Naath. She had time to chill with Dany and new friends while updating she and Myrcella's blog. _The Stark Sisters Sailways_ was a booming travel blog which she and Myrcella had worked on since high school and now they had to go home and face the uninteresting reality.

 

Myrcella had been excited to learn that they finally had an excuse to go home. Myrcella loved travelling with her twin sister but she missed home so much. She had skyped with her father who demanded that she and Arya come home urgently. At least they had a legitimte reason to go home and there was no way Ayra would refuse her father. Besides she missed the sombre sun at Winterfell and missed gossiping with Sansa  face-to-face. She also couldnt wait to sleep in her old bed and to sleep at home for the first time in  months. She and Arya had moved out of home as soon as they could and now she was glad she could go home.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Early in the hours of the dawn, Arya and Myrcella had arrived with Cersei and Ned from the Airport. They had slipped into thier rooms and dosed off the jet lag hoping not to wake the boys.

 

 

After breakfast and a catching up session, Cersei and Ned, told the children about Jon Arryn's passing. Jon kept quiet. Joff wanted to cry. Myrcella cried. Arya held back tears. Tom was shocked and Bran was sad but was also suffering mad munchies. The whole family was sombre. They also each had their own problems and  now that Jon Arryn was gon they had no Wise Sage. 

Ned and Robert had to speak to each other again. Cersei would have to face Jaime after so long. Myrcella would have to finally explain herself to Gendry after she totally bailed on him, ghosted on him after so long. Arya would have to face the stupid Lannisters and their picture perfectness, that she hated. Tommen would have to tell his parents about robin and Bran had to meet with his guru, Jojen, about what Jon Arryn's death really meant for them.

Jon was the only one who didnt have beef with all the other families but he had the biggest job ever. He'd have to keep his siblings calm after all the horrible things that had been done unto them. This was going to a hard weekend for Jon. Why did Jon Arryn have to die! Damn The Old and The New gods. Later that evening Elbert Arryn had called to tell Ned that _Stark Media_ was the only station allowed to cover his father's funeral. The Great Politician, Father-figure, and mogul-extraordinaire.

 

 

" The funeral will be held at the Great Eyrie in the Vale." The reporter announed  while a mysterious stranger turned off the televison with a dangerous gleam on their face.

 

"Uhm... Boss, It's done. The Old Bird is Dead!"

"Good Job. Payment will be made shortly"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading

**Author's Note:**

> Please don't be afraid to leave love and constructive criticism. Thanks. If the feed back is amazing, I'll update every Monday or twice a week .


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